i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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