I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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