How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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