There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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