end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
