Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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