I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
