Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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