There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We left an ass print on the piano.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
