I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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