You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
