I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Fuck appropriateness.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize