my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
