I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
