thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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