some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I cut my penus on the lid.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
That accounts for only three of the penises
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
