Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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