I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
