If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
