I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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