Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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