i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
