The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize