my room smells like sperm. sweet.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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