Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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