I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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