Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
