ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think I sprained my soul last night
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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