dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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