We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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