Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
