ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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