Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize