haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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