Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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