Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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