Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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