we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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