Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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