why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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