even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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