i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
