the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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