Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.