I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
