Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
