im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
there is glitter all over my balls
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
