Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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