i can't believe i had my finger in that
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
