I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize