Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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