Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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