I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
