how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
