We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize