Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
