Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
